Two weeks ago, I drove past a young man standing in the middle of the highway, in the pouring rain, with a  soaked piece of cardboard in hand, asking for money. A young woman stood there with him. When I saw the two of them my heart broke. How could a human being, created in God’s image, get to that point of desperation?

I believe their process was gradual. A series of decisions reaped certain results. He could have made the decision to not work out a payment plan with a bill collector, or not look for another job when he got laid off, or not try to go to counseling to work on his marriage, or not study for that important test. This could have caused an eviction, a divorce, or getting kicked out of school. And now, he’s standing in the rain, asking for help. 

I’ve never been placed in a position where I had to stand on a corner and ask for money, but I have been in situations where I have been a beggar. At 22 years old, I worked two part time jobs which paid $7.00 per hour, I lived at home with my mother, and used my entire paycheck to make a car payment I couldn’t afford. The hope of a Bachelor’s degree from my dream school was a faint memory.  I settled into a deadly routine.

Deadly routines usually start with one seemingly insignificant decision which leads to another decision which then culminates in disaster. For me, it was the decision to wallow in self pity and negative thinking. This led to scraping the bottom of the barrel, hoping and wishing while still blaming and complaining.

One day, my husband (we were dating at the time) visited me while I was working at one of my part time jobs and asked: “What are you doing here?” That question changed my life. What was I doing there? 

I faced the ugly facts and started to re-vision my life. I then took steps to change and eventually I got to my destination. But I still ask myself that question regularly. Otherwise, the nature of this fallen world will lead me downhill.

At the close of 2009, I am again asking myself: “What am I doing here?” Do I see an upward trend in different areas of my life (spiritually, mentally, financially, emotionally, physically, in my marriage and friendships)? Or is the trend in any (or all) of these areas downhill?  For me, it takes weeks to re-inventory myself but the results are worth it.

So, I ask you, what are you doing? If you continue with the same habits for a year or more, what results would you reap?

“Without vision the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18).