2. August 2010 by admin.

Hubby, baby, and I had the most eventful weekend. We packed up our things..breast pump…diapers…bottles…baby clothes…grown up  clothes…stroller…Bible…and headed down to Concord, NC for the She Speaks conference (www.shespeaksconference.com) hosted by Proverbs 31 ministry (www.proverbs31.org) It’s a speakers and writers conference for women. I met some wonderful women like Kristie, Amy (visit her blog at www.beyondsundaymorning-amy.blogspot.com), and Carolla.

I have to be honest with you. The entire week leading up to the very moment I stepped foot on the red carpet at Embassy Suites, I wondered: What was I thinking when I registered for this conference? Am I absolutely NUTS for requesting a publisher’s appointment?  I was clothed in anxiety, fear, stress, and….baby spit up. I remember signing up for the conference in the days after the baby’s birth in April…and how can anyone think coherently after giving birth to a nine pound baby au natural?

So, walking into the Embassy Suites, I knew for sure I was completely nuts.But the night before the first day of the conference I awakened at three in the morning and started praying..and praying…and praying (I pumped some milk while I was at it!) It was the first time I had prayed like that in a long time. God was up to something. (Or it could have been just my nerves.)

I was nervous about pitching my book project. I have never pitched a book before and I had no idea what to say…until I went to an extremely helpful session at the conference on pitching to a publisher in fifteen minutes. I knew what my talking points should cover after that session, but still…I was scared to death.

Then a picture flashed in my mind. It was the cover of a Joyce Meyer mini-book I have (a book which I have yet to read). The title of the book is: “Do It Afraid!”

Do It Afraid: When I’m kicking myself for not having done more…to that paragraph I wrote….or those now hideous looking outfits I picked for the conference….

Do It Afraid: When I’m super self conscious because I ran out of my favorite hair grease and I’m slapping on a mixture of Walmart brand Equate Body Lotion and Hubby’s Blue Magic Hair Creme in my frizzy hair the day of my publisher’s appointments

Do It Afraid: When I’m up late at night honing the words I plan to say…and hoping…and praying…and pleading…with God that I won’t stumble…or stutter…or get a brain fart during the meetings 

DO IT AFRAID.

In a moment of clarity when one of my writing buddies, Charlotte Cole (www.charlottesheart.com) boldly spoke some fire into me hours before my first meeting, I knew my purpose. I knew why I signed up for She Speaks in the haze after giving birth. I knew why I spent hours typing at the computer or scribbling in notepads, writing words which may never see the light of day. I knew why I left my analyst job with the promise of a retirement package (in exchange for thirty years), a nice check every two weeks, and paid trips both internationally and in the U.S. in a company car.

Because that was too easy. And the calling of God is never easy. It’s not easy to be God’s kind of wife when my flesh is screaming. It’s not easy to tend to a crying baby when I’m sleep deprived. It’s not easy to cook a meal or vacuum a floor while staring at my Ivy League degree on the wall and wondering….why? It’s not easy to press through with a pen stroke when the inner critic whispers: ”Preslaysa Williams, you have just broken all the rules of ‘The Writer’s Craft.’” 

God has always placed me in awkward situations, frightening situations…to mold me…to shape me….into a tool fit for the Master’s use. I’m a writer, yes. But more importantly, I’m God’s pen.

And I’m at peace with allowing Him to write anything He chooses on the pages of my life….even while I’m afraid. 

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21. June 2010 by admin.

Right now, I’m blogging from South Carolina. We took our son on his first trip out of state and it’s definitely a learning experience. When it was just the two of us, we packed at the last minute, hopped in the car, and got on the road.

Having the baby with us takes lots of forethought.We left at 8:30am (we planned to leave at 5:30am) and arrived in South Carolina 8 hours later. It typically takes us about 6–7 hours to get to SC. We stopped every couple hours to feed and change him.  

Having a child has made me more organized and mindful of my time. I’ve learned to multi-task and get lots of things done in a short period of time. So the baby is a blessing in more ways than one.  Preslaysa

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11. May 2010 by admin.

I had the great privelege of celebrating my first Mother’s Day this past Sunday. It was a surreal experience, one of the many markers of my transition into womanhood. Hubby, baby, and I went out to eat breakfast. Then, we played hooky from church, opting to watch a service online. Afterwards, we watched a movie and ate popcorn. I enjoyed flowers from my mother in law and a fruit basket from my mother.

I thought about the verse in Psalms which says: “He makes the barren woman to keep house and be a joyful mother of children” (Psalm 113:9). I prayed that scripture for a long time, believing I would have a son. I’d confess this scripture to myself daily, renewing my mind to the idea of becoming a mother but I didn’t see any results.

After having a miscarriage two years ago, it seemed like I would never have a child. I started to grow comfortable with the idea of being childless for the rest of my life. But God had other plans. He has expanded the family my husband and I started seven years ago. The scripture I said to myself was a seed - incorruptible seed (1 Peter 1:23). Seeds take time to mature and grow. If you feel hopeless about a situation in your life, keep the faith.

Blessings to all the mothers out there.

Preslaysa

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